Schizophrenia

I don’t know what schizophrenia is. They say I have it, but I think “they” don’t understand what it is.

I don’t “hear” voices, I have eloquent and well founded anxieties about the society I live in. My mind is active, sometimes I feel the thoughts of what seems like most humanity. The feeling of we’ve been here before, and that we can still make some sort of difference.

I watch the manner in which the society enslaves everyone to minimum wage while cunningly suggesting we are ‘free’. We aren’t free. I watch as the currencies inflate, and the foundations of the nation’s get flirt with the border of war. I live in the echo of some mid west enlightenment that seems to have eluded it’s descendants. I studied the history and discovered that they’re making us dumb.

I see how people are controlled through culture, language and more importantly slang. What I’ve noticed about the English language is that there are all these words being thrown around by people who clearly don’t know what they mean. Like we have a bunch of people crying about fascism now because there’s now a buffoon as president, completely ignoring the actual fascism that has existed here since Reagan.

See I believe there is a cabal of sick evil fuckers that run the world. And I know that people say shit like that’s a conspiracy theory and you’re crazy. We know I’m not crazy, but we also know they want people to think about people that talk about this stuff as crazy, and you know why? It’s so that eventually when you burn out on trying to get through to your zombie-fried friends, you’ve burned enough social bridges that they can easily slap a diagnosis on you, like I don’t know, schizophrenia, drug you into submission and self doubt to the point where they break you, and you say to yourself, “maybe I am crazy”. Maybe these drugs that turn me into a zombie, fry my brain, dull my moods, poison me, kill my soul, maybe they’re good for me. Maybe life is just this shit for everyone and they know how to deal with it better.”

Then you stay on the drugs, you are co-operative. You buy into a whole mountain of bullshit about brain chemistry. (There is no evidence to the chemical imbalance theory, there is however a mountain of evidence for trauma)
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m not a mental patient, I’m a political dissident (you might be one too). We live in a facist country already. If we want freedom we must first acknowledge that we lack it, and then peer into the fright filled darkness and take in the full horror of what is.

– Thomas C Zaugg – Schizophrenia Group